do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
