so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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