i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
