bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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