like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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