I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
