I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
