I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
