i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize