i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
