clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
