just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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