I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
