mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
