So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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