Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
