Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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