I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize