I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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