I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
