I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
