I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
