I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
