Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
smell my finger.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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