Do you still have your period?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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