"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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