dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
