I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
