So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
