If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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