We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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