if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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