All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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