I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize