I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
