your room smells of hookers.
And success
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
