I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
