New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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