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• (281): View more from Texas

  I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.

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• (626): View more from California

  I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid

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• (805): View more from California

  I want to eat a stick of butter

  (1-805): View more from California

  Did your pain meds kick in?

  (805): View more from California

  It tastes nice

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence

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