If that was your dad, he is hot
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
