just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
