playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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