Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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