DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
