Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
