He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
