smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
