she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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