i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
