Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
