On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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