My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
