I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
