i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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