I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
