you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
