So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
