Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize