2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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