It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
