she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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